Saturday, November 15, 2008

Don't ever hire Rick Tocchet to be an assistant coach

Note to NHL Head Coaches. If you value your career do not hire Rick Tocchet to be on your staff!
What do Wayne Gretzky, Tony Granato, Rick Tocchet and Barry Melrose have in common? Answer: They were all associated with the LA Kings. What else do they have in common? Answer: Rick Tocchet jacking up their lives and careers.
Hmmm. Return to the scene of the crime. Rick Tocchet signs with the LA Kings. A few seasons later Barry Melrose is fired and does not coach again for more than a decade. Fast forward several years. Tony Granato is hired to replace Bob Hartley as head coach. Rick Tocchet is hired to be an assistant coach on his staff. What happens? Tony Granato is demoted to assistant coach in favor of Joel Quennville. Then good old Ricky moves on to the Phoenix Coyotes to be an assistant with the Great One, Wayne Gretzky. He brings shame to the Great One's house by involving Wayne's wife and super hot former actress in a multi-state illegal gambling ring. (Let it also be known that she is the reason why the Edmonton Oilers were dismantled. That is another story) Rick then takes a few years off from his path of career destruction. Next after an eternity away from the bench Barry Melrose is plucked from the ESPN studios and named head coach of the Tampa Bay Lightning. Who does he pick to be an assistant coach? Yep, you guessed it; Rick Tocchet. A handful of games into the 2008 season and Melrose is fired. Who is named interim head coach? Rick Tocchet.
November 29th would have matched former coach against former player. Granato vs Melrose. Instead we get Granato vs. Tocchet. I think that the mulleted one will be in the house. Here's hoping that Tony climbs over the glass and kicks Tocchet's ass. Let's do it for Barry!

4 comments:

Sonic Tooth said...

'twas a peculiar move. Didn't give Barry a lot of time to right the ship. I mean the Lightning have sort of sucked ever since their Cup year.

TroutDog said...

If this mean Melrose will be back at ESPN, thereby increasing the amount of NHL coverage ESPN features, because, you know, Melrose=ratings, then I'm all for this move.

Dahmer will be going to that Nov 29th matchup. I'm sure he's bummed it will be a Melrose-less Lightning squad.

DeathTruck said...

Is this your excuse for not being at Das Banquet?

30 Pack Thief said...

No sorry I was at Mead Street Station eating free chicken wings and drinking free beer.