NFL Head Coaches Should Not Be Younger Than Me

Prepubescent Oakland Raider Head Coach Lane Kiffin must be smartin’ this morning. Not only did his Raider squad have a divisional road opponent “on ice” with the game in the balance, but they snapped defeat from the jaws of victory for a second week in a row.

I don’t need to rehash what went down yesterday at Mile High. The Broncos dodged a huge bullet eeking out a 23-20 OT win, helped in large part to a frozen Jablonski (with a nod to Irv Brown.) I’ll be honest; I was standing next to the TV when his first kick went through the uprights from 52 yards out. My hand reached out to manually turn the set off when my immediate thoughts of, “did we really just lose to the Raiders at home?” were thankfully dashed by the supple, silky smooth voice of Kevin Harlan. Shanny had called timeout! Brilliant! You’re paying attention over on the east sidelines, right Kiff? Seabass promptly stepped back up and proceeded to drill a deep laser, but alas, it took a fortuitous (for Bronco fans, at least) kick off the top of the goal post. As Jay Cutler (he of the back-to-back come from behind wins) put in the locker room following the game, “Dude, that would have been good from 70!” For some reason, Kiffin didn't want to bite on Shanny's style, and gave no effort to ice Elam in OT.

The win puts the fortunate (and very easily 0-2) Broncos at 2-0 and atop the AFC West. They sit in first alone, as the Super Chargers got punked badly by the New England Patriotic Espionage Agents. Speaking of incompetent head coaches, I bring you Norv Turner and his offensive #2, Felipe Rios. Speaking of overrated, incompetent quarterbacks!

The Chiefs' loss at the hands of the Chicago Bears rounded off the perfect AFC West weekend. Additional conference defeats for the Cincinnati Bengals and the New York Jets make my heart warm. The Pats and Colts still look to be the class of the conference, with the former still working with a depleted roster. Believe me that I shant forget about the Chargers. Their defense is just flat out nasty. Or at least, I thought so before last night. Maybe Merriodman needs some more clomid.

I apologize for my inability to come through with a preview on Friday, but I put down some mean chainsawing this weekend. Have no fear, however, my skills will return!