How Badly Are You Going Through Avs Goal Withdrawals?

As a 3rd period post, I'm hoping this is an anti-jinx. But, the offense seems to be sputtering heavily after the early-season rampage. This is a total of 2 goals now through the last 8 periods. That ain't cutting it, dudes. Raycroft is also cementing his position on the bench. Home loss to the B-Jacks? Glad that wasn't part of my 14-game plan.

What the hell?

I'll admit that this has absolutely nothing to do with sports whatsoever. It has to be reported because I just can't believe this happened.
Scene: A patio at a bar in north Denver. It is around 4:45pm as the two men are seated.
Waiter: What would you like to drink?
Man 1: I think I'll have a Fat Tire.
Waiter: Great, and you?
Man 2: I'll have a Pabst.
Waiter: A what?
Man 2: A Pabst?
Waiter: What is that?
Man 2: A Pabst Blue Ribbon. It's a beer.
Waiter: We don't have that.
Man 2: What are those guys drinking over there? (Points at a table full of people drinking cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon) Did they bring those in themselves?
Waiter: Oh... that's a PBR. Would you like one of those?
Man 2: Uh... yeah.

Avs on a bit of a tear

Imagine if the Avs hadn't blown those first 3 games...

Nice to see Jesus...erm, I mean Lappy get on the scoresheet last night. The 16th different Avs player to net a goal this year. This team likes to score.

As much as I like to hate on Budaj (actually I don't) it's very key to see him rebound from his shaky start and have a truly solid game. If he can keep that up and this team continues to score in bunches, the Avs might be more of a player in the West than just about anybody predicted.

You sons of bitches better believe someone is going to die for that disgrace last night! The Rat will not rest. Believe me, I have access to Andre Hall's home address.
I know where the defense goes for their "bonding dinners". I'm not quite sure who our wretched D-coordinator is, but can likely find out with a few phone calls. You've been warned.

Hold On To the Ball Please

Two fumbles in the first quarter by Andre Hall. What is the old adage about turnovers on the road? Oh yeah, you don't win many games when you lose the turnover battle. Not a good start to this one...

Farewell to thee

Beer drinkers of the world may stand up and rejoice. Zima is no more. Miller-Coors has pulled the plug on this horrible beverage. I can't tell you how many times I switched to soft drinks instead of Zima when the party's host or hostess ran out of beer. Now if we could just do something about that Hard Mike's Lemonade crap. Is it Hard Mike's or Mike's Hard Lemonade? Whatever... that stuff has to go too.

Annoyed By Zero

This post might belong on BSB, as I believe my grievance has origins in watching baseball playoffs, but KTH is where where it's at these days.

So, I used to kind of like the song, "Saved by Zero" by the Fixx. It's a pretty catchy tune with a solid guitar riff that wasn't too "80's Top 40" sounding. That opinion of the song has been completely reversed in the last couple of weeks by the onslaught of commercials feature said song/jingle. While I still couldn't tell you what the ad was for (I'm pretty good at tuning that information out while having the tv on), I involuntarily taught myself the guitar part to the song.


Also, I'm beginning to detest "Space Oddity" (Major Tom) by David Bowie . I think it's a Lincoln ad and it is also being played to death right now. (A little internet research has informed me that the song in the ad is Cat Power doing the cover.) I thought the song was fairly unique and deserving of its timeless place in the classic rock cannon. Now I consider it about as 'classic' as "Like A Rock" by Bob Seger.

Update about 5 minutes after I posted this: Not surprisingly, I just saw the Saved by Zero ad and it's for Toyota.

This is a disgrace

If I'm Dave Tippett, I'm yanking Marty Turco and demoting him to benchwarmer. Performance based demotion? Hell no (although I'm actually glad we have Raycroft and Budaj in comparison). It's those awful gold pads, glove and blocker. They are fucking hideous. He looks like he is the missing member of Sha-Na-Na. Texas hockey fans... lower your heads in shame.
Goodnight Sweethearts... it's time to go.

Quite the barnburner at Magness

Not my normal post fodder...but I've got to say tonight's DU victory over Wisconsin was some pretty prime hockey viewing.

On a night with rather bleak professional sports action, the Pios/Badgers did not disappoint when I settled into the easychair this evening, complete with a major DU comeback in the 3rd - which seemed mighty improbable; very compelling stuff. Hopefully DU will treat me to more of the same this year. They sure do like to throw the puck on net. (~50 shots on goal tonight!?!?!) That shit makes for some fun hockey to watch.

GMC Curse?

I don't know how the logistics go when it comes to hiring a regional spokesman for your commercials, but it seems a little odd that coach G gets denied again after both of his predecessors got the gig. And both coach q and h have been immoratalized in local commercial history around these parts. I mean how many times do you walk down the 16th street mall and hear some Mom yelling at her 3-year kid, 'And you just QUIT on me!!!!'. Or some suave bro-brah at 3-dog tell some drunk chick: It's time for a line change. I think coach G is up for the task of taking on these trendy one-liners.

So I guess what the title of this post is getting at, and what I'm getting at is ... is maybe it's GMC's fault. I mean they obviously have it out for coach G, and I'd kind of like to see the guy succeed. Nothing against Footer. I saw the commercial prolly like 4 times tonight, and I'll always be a fan of the feisty defenseman (although that delay of game penalty tongiht was quite costly), but GMC commercials are something he should do like 7 years from now when he's coaching in Hershey or wherever the farm teams are these days. In other words (i.e.), leave the GMC commercials to coaches. I direct that comment towards GMC only.

I know what all of you are thinking:

'Hey DT, give GMC a break! They lost their beloved radio show"

and to that I say: fair enough. I and other Av fans have also lost that radio show. Oh how I'll miss the hockey mom's who call in with their minor league sons ready to be called up by coach Q himself (by the way, I heard this delightful joke from some broad about a hockey mom and like... I think it was like alabradoodle or something). But I'm suggesting that maybe there is a correlation between the suckiness of these first 3 games, and Coach G not getting any GMC airtime. Huh? Whammy?

And I hearby declare KTH to be the first site to coin the phrse: "The Two Codys".

And I think we all can agree that Budaj kind of blows. Great 2nd period I guess, but can you put together 3 good periods?

I'm sorry for the rant, but the last 3 games have flat out sucked (Mudhoney would have put it a different way).

Stop Proving Me Right, Mr. Budaj

Two late-game choke jobs by the Avs. I'm not saying this is all Pete-B's fault, but that was a pretty weak winning goal tonight. Otherwise, he and the rest of the team had a pretty good night and looked like the better team. Still, zero points in two game thus far and a tough road game coming up against the Flames Tuesday night.

That said, I did enjoy watching my first hockey game of the season tonight, as I was quickly reminded that there are many likable players on this team. Just play a complete 60 minutes on Tuesday, fellas.

Sammy Would've Put More Pressure on the QB

Lots of griping going down at the TD HQ between Sonic Tooth, 30-Pack Thief and myself on why the B'cos couldn't get a win today and secure, or possibly pad their surprising AFC West lead today. Here are some highlights:

1) Our Defense Sucks

2) We Fumble Way Too Much

3) The Receiving Corps Is Decimated Right Now and Looks Like Arena League Quality Talent After B-Marsh

4) The Refs Jobbed Us On Two Big Calls

#1 above is the most troubling and glaring reason why even if we get to the playoffs, we would be ousted immediately.

Revelations

Let me be the first to say that I am so glad that hockey is back! Even though I am incredibly jaded and cynical I am always excited when October rolls around. Thanks to the Sonic Trout Death Bear family, more specifically Trout Dog, I was able to attend the opening night festivities against the Boston B's.
Now I could sit here and complain about how pathetic the Avalanche looked but then I would just elicit a whole bunch of "I told you so's" from Mr. Dog regarding the whole Theodore vs. Budaj debate we had at the end of the Stanley Cup Playoffs last year. Instead, I'm choosing to write about the stuff I've observed while attending sporting events. Are people really this stupid or am I an asshole?

1. Why, oh why, must Avalanche fans chant "Red Wings Suck!" when the Avalanche aren't playing against them? I'm going to admit that I think that performing this chant is stupid anyways. This is kind of like me going to the Great American Beer Festival, hoisting a few, then shouting "Merlot sucks, Merlot sucks, Merlot sucks!"
   
2. There is at least one in every section at Invesco Field at Mile High Stadium (There. I've done it. I've finally called it by it's paid given name.) At every Broncos game there is always some dumbass who stands up and looks back at the rest of the section in disgust for not cheering enough and then motions for everyone to stand up and make more noise. To these people I say: The Bronco Organization is not going to hire you in any official capacity so shut the fuck up!
3. I don't know what it is about soccer but without a doubt the best looking women I have ever seen at a sporting event was at a Rapids game. I think that Kronke should market this. It would definitely bolster attendance and it ALMOST made the game tolerable.
   
4. Why must everyone boo every offsides call at Avalanche games? They were offsides. It happens. Get over it.
   
5. The Broncos have officially named the fifth level at Invesco Field "Thunder, Colorado" The rest of you bitches have to sit in Denver, Colorado but my seats are in Thunder, Colorado. I know you bastards are jealous now. I'm going to run for the mayor of Thunder and my first official act will be to lower food and beer prices.
   
6. Somebody please explain to me the Rockies philosophy on team building. I'm going to say this for the last time. We need a Japanese player. What do the Dodgers, Red Sox, Rays and Phillies all have in common? That's right, a Japanese guy. If it helps I'll sit in the dugout until one can be found.
   
7. The only acceptable John Denver song (if any) that should be played at sporting events here is "Rocky Mountain High". Please stop playing "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" at once.
   
8. Is poker really a sport? Why does ESPN devote so much time towards it? This is embarrassing how pathetic my life has become that I'm rooting for poker players now.
   
9. Why can't beer be considered health food? It has water, grains and barley. Sounds like a liquid version of oatmeal to me.
   
10. I think that I can safely say that there is not one player on the Nuggets roster that I actually like. Thank god for hockey!
    

You can say I'm an asshole if you want. It's my wife's pet name for me.

Hockey anyone?

You know the puck drops at 8:00. Let the blogging start, eh.

Travis Henry

Say it ain't so Travis! Drugs? I would've never imagined that you'd stoop that low. I mean drugs? Seriously?