In a decision handed down by NFL Commissioner Roger Goddel, the Denver Broncos have been fined an undisclosed amount for their failure to comply with league wide standards for hairstyle. During last night's first Raider possession in the Denver/Oakland game, the Broncos starting defensive backfield was being introduced by defensive tackle Elvis Dumervil when it became apparent that the Broncos had failed to field at least one corner or safety with dreadlocks.
Goddel was into his seventh cup of homemade mochachinos when the atrocity was noticed, "I spit out the last sip of that sweet, sweet coffee. Not only was I upset that I had to ask my assistant, Reuben to make me another cup, but I was just flat out angry at (Broncos' Coach) Mike Shanahan. I mean, don't we all love Al Harris?"
Goddel also used the infraction to speak about his disdain for the bizarre request that ESPN makes for every season opening Monday night.
"Don't get me wrong, I like the night life, I like to boogie. But, that sh*t didn't start until 11 o'clock here in New York."
The Broncos immediately contacted the San Francisco 49ers about requiring the services of Walt Harris.