Saturday, September 27, 2008

Elway, Say It Ain't So!!!

Received a "tip" today from my west coast sources that John Elway is engaged to a former Raiders cheerleader, Paige Green. Yes, that John Elway, and yes, those Oakland Raiders. Is nothing sacred in the world anymore? This is John Motherfucking Elway we're talking about. God knows he's got a longer leash than pretty much anyone out there about what he wants to do with himself in his post-football life. Arena football? Yet another reason Bon Jovi blows, but Elway, shit knock yourself out, dude. Never been to "Elways" restaurant, and I'm pretty sure it's full of pricks wearing mock turtlenecks and sport coats, but you gotta do something with yourself and why not be a restaurateur. I'll even let your republican allegiances slide, because you are John "Super Bowl 33 MVP" Elway.

But you got to have some principles and Johnny Boy, I dare say you've crossed the line with this latest stunt. You've showed up around town for the last few years making public appearances with a Coors Light in hand and various broads at your side, so why decide to marry a RAIDERS CHEERLEADER??!!?? Dude, stay in the closet with that shit!! What, is Al Davis going to be at your wedding? Is Howie Long going to make a toast during the reception?

Good god, I thought Favre sullied his legacy as a Packer by his recent shenanigans, but this my even trump that. Let's hope he comes to his senses before he goes through with this act of heresy.

1 comment:

Sonic Tooth said...

Granted, it is a bit of a shock....but to me, the Republican alliance is more dastardly than marrying an ex-Raiderette.

I met a few at some sporting goods store-Raiderette Calendar autograph signing in a San Jose mall back in the 90's, they seemed like really nice gals!! They only seemed vaguely freaked when I smiled and shook their hands and said that I thought the Raiders fucking sucked.